Le Alien Halo Godrum

The Planet football Guide tells us that `Le Alien Halo Godrum` is a superior football being who unlike his neighboring inhabitants `Skateus nohopeus` are a passionate follower of their team Southampton FC and have been Rulers of the South Cost galaxy since 1894 star light years.
Le Alien Halo Godrums can be found in large numbers in the higher plains of space orbiting along the `Premiership` corridor of space. These followers of Saints (nickname for Southampton FC) have a very high understanding of the game `Football` and will turn out to watch their team no matter what the odds.

A recent game involving `Moan U ` (Manchester United FC) resulted in the Saints winning by 6 goal to 3 against all the `Pundits` who often say Saints have no chance and tip them for `Relegation`. The Leader of Moan U anus Alexus Ballshitterus is known for his un-sporting behavior and a tendency to sulk and moan when his highly expensive band of overpaid, contract grabbing, big headed, cheating, scumbag (the guide goes on for another 10 Mb of insults) players lose. Alexus Ballshitterus commented after another defeat by Saints this time 3-1 that his `players could not pick out each other due to they grey kit`. We will come across the Le Alien Halo Godrum often in this guide as they are fundamental to the existence of football and their Interstellar hero `Matthew (Le God) Tissier.

Crap Pundit

A Crap `Pundit` is described as a `Lawrenson`.
A true `Pundit` comes from the world of football expertise often found in the BBC galaxy that has just lost control of footballing rights. But a recent hideous form has evolved and its behavior can be seen in the Lord of all Crap Pundits Mark Lawrenson. This pundit is often referred to a the one who `speaks out of his arse` and he always tips Saints to get relegated but at the end of the season is made to eat his own words which being made of `shit` (a substance from Frutton Sewage Works) is as you can imagine not the most pleasant of things to swallow.

Relegation

Relegation: Consign or dismiss to inferior position, transfer to lower division of league. Yes this is feared by all teams as no one likes to be associated with a small but elite band of clubs known as losers. Some of the original cosmic losers are: Portsmouth FC.

Judas

A Judas is a beast disguised as a decent committed team player/manager who is not out to rip off a club for as much transfer money as possible, but beware!. The term `Infamous Traitor` has been applied to the ex Saints manager Glenn (two faces) Hoddle who will shit on anyone and anything in his way in order to accumulate as much money as possible while avoiding a real challenge as a manager. Hoddle has joined a tiny club called Tottenham  Hotspur and  has developed delusions of belonging to a big team.

An Alien will find these questions difficult but so would many people at work who know nothing about football, recently someone said `has Brazil won the world cup?` you could be tempted to say yes 6-0, 6-0, 6-0 against Goran in 1990 at Wimbledon.